Uranus MO, “It’s Not a Town, It’s a Destination”

Located on Route 66, this place was advertised as a town that had taken its name and run with it…. unabashedly. This appealed to me… That said, the place turned out to be SUCH a major tourist trap that it managed to lack ANY charm, wit or finesse at all, and the joke … which I admit totally made me want to come see the place gets REALLY really old after the first 15 minutes actually being there… to the point of irritating.

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From everything I had read the place was a very small town with 25 residents. AND, having just driven past any number of very tiny towns along route 66, that is what I was expecting… 25 residents maintaining a few business all of which played on the name of the place in order to draw tourists to a place they’d have otherwise just driven through… All hail the entrepreneurial spirit!

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Note, the parking lot concrete is stamped with the words “Explore Uranus”

Once I got there was very sad… Firstly, as you can see from the pictures, it’s not really a town. I was expecting a small town… a downtown with a handful of business, surrounded by a few houses… like any number of the small towns I had passed on Route 66…

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Instead what I found was a massive tourist attraction that looks like a strip mall tourist attraction…. essentially a single business broken into a few separate areas….which is not just unforgivable… it’s lazy. When you arrive you see the fake water tower, intended to make it feel like a “small town” with the implication that they have a school somewhere back there, with team called “the Pirates” — but I think they’re referring to themselves… as in the way Carneys think of the customers as marks, to be taken advantage of…

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UNADJUSTEDNONRAW_thumb_1f83.jpgWhat was doubly frustrating was that in the gift store they have lots of magnets focused on the town’s name….  but no bumper stickers

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…she said up until now everyone’s wanted magnets, so they ordered lots of them… but now everyone wants stickers, but those they haven’t gotten in yet…

UNADJUSTEDNONRAW_thumb_1f7f.jpgand apparently, just recently a big group had come in and bought out all the good women’s T-shirts so there’s none of those either — and definitely not the only design that I was interested in buying — as apparently I’m not the only woman who preferred that design. She suggested I check their webpage over the coming weeks — I did, and didn’t see it there either.

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By the time I was done walking around the place… and I admit I stayed longer than I might have had I not been intent on writing about the place, because it annoyed the CRAP out of me … just … that… much!!! … by the time I got done, I was seriously…. SERIOUSLY pissed at having fallen for this particular tourist TRAP

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There’s also a circus sideshow museum and a tattoo parlor

SO annoyed in fact that I managed to completely miss the fact that around there somewhere (according to Wikipedia) they’ve got the World’s largest Belt buckled … one that even has a Guinness World Book of records designation… yah, I missed that… saw the Funkyard where it’s supposed to be…. did NOT see one sign promoting it…

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Pounding head into wall… will have to go back… pounding head into wall again… THAT said, I’m not seeing it on google either…

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